So far I’ve outlined my thoughts on how Facebook has been good for OneLife Church and can help us spread the message of the Gospel. Then there was the honest talk about how Facebook has a bad side when unhealthy people use it with unrealistic expectations and assumptions. But unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it. There’s also the ugly!

The Ugly

One of the most encouraging things for me is to come home on Sunday afternoons and begin to see people posting what God has done in their lives as a result of serving or worshipping at OneLife. A close second is Fridays and Saturdays when I see OneLifers posting invitations to their friends and family. It’s awesome!

But then it turns ugly. The same person who raves about God’s work in their life on Sunday afternoon gets in a public slug-fest Monday on a “friend’s” wall with language that would make a sailor blush. The same person inviting everyone to church on Friday posts a picture that does anything but make God smile another day of the week. The same person posting Bible verses and devotional thoughts one day is gossiping publicly and saying things through a keyboard they would never say face-to-face the next day.

It’s ugly. And it’s holding us back from reaching people who need Jesus.

Romans 14:14-23 calls us who are Christians to higher standard of living. Using an issue that was a big deal then (what foods should and shouldn’t be eaten) Paul basically says we should do nothing that would keep people from Christ. Verse 16 goes so far as to say we should live in such a way that unbelivers or those who doubt our faith have no reason to criticize us. Here’s the kicker: this is a standard we can’t live up to on our own. It takes living with the Spirit in control.

When the Spirit is in control, public gossip and criticism of someone else won’t be posted for the world to see. Putting someone else down to seem “in control” will be the furthest thing from your mind. Posting photos that will damage your witness won’t even be possible because the photos won’t exist. And finally, your kids will see a godly example of what it means to be an adult. Because don’t forget – they’re watching your every move and every post.

Facebook can be an incredible tool to reach people for Jesus and grow His Church. But let’s keep it good! If we avoid the bad and ugly, this can be a tool that we’ll see used to point many toward Him.

The Bad

As great as Facebook has been for our church and the way it has helped us reach people who were once far from God, it has also brought a “bad” side with it. That bad side is unrealistic expectations.

One way that Facebook has changed our culture is people depend on it for communicating and receiving information. And I believe they depend on it to a fault. If you don’t believe me, just wait until you find out someone you are close to is either in or out of a relationship. Then you’ll find out everyone knows but you. Chances are, it’s because it became “Facebook Official” and you missed it. That’s because people now assume if they put something on Facebook, you should know it.

Then you have the people who love to be ambiguous with loaded comments. “I’m happy today and can’t tell you why!” “Someone I know has a big announcement coming but I’m not sure who!” or “Lots of prayers needed today but that’s all I can really say about that.” Translated as “I need attention and know that I’ll get 20 comments and private messages if I say something ambiguous.” And then there’s the passive aggressive person who drops you as their friend and waits to see how long it takes for you to notice. If you don’t notice fast enough, you don’t care about anyone but yourself. If you notice too quickly, you’re vain. You can’t win.

So what’s the big deal about all of this? Not only does it perpetuate incredibly unhealthy relationships, but it becomes a HUGE problem when these expectations creep into the church.

More times than I would like to admit, someone has gotten offended because they posted some life-changing announcement on Facebook and no one from the church came to visit, called, or sent a meal. People have gotten feelings hurt because an ambiguous comment or “prayer request” didn’t get enough comments. And yes – sadly – some of our leaders have reported being dropped as someone’s friend and not realizing it fast enough or noticing it too quickly.

In each of these situations, I have tried to communicate gently that we don’t have a Facebook Pastor spending all day perusing all 900 Facebook profiles of people who are somehow connected to OneLife. We have even begun teaching this in our Partnership Class and set-up a system for caring for people when they contact us directly through appropriate channels. We’ve even set a boundary as a staff to not use Facebook to communicate to OneLifers for church-related “business” to ensure no one falls through the cracks.

People who are connected to OneLife are cared for when we know they need to be cared for. But one bad thing Facebook has brought us is unrealistic expectations for those who simply rely on Facebook to communicate for them.

Whatever happened to a good ole fashioned email saying “I need help.”? Shoot, I’ll even take courier pigeons, smoke signals, or a dang telegram. Just something direct without assumptions and unrealistic expectations. We want to help, but we can’t if we don’t know what’s needed.

Why do you think people rely so much on Facebook? I would love to hear your thoughts!

OneLife Church is only 18-months old but I can already tell that when we look back on it years from now we will say “How would we have done it without Facebook?!” The social network has literally changed the landscape of church planting and opened new horizons for the Church and the spread of its message. However, while Facebook brings a lot of good to the Church, there’s also some bad and ugly that it exposes, too. This week I’ll examine how we’ve experienced all three.

Part 1: The Good

When people ask us how we got the word out about our church as we were getting started, they usually think that traditional marketing was most effective. Billboards, mailers, and mass emails were suggested and even used. But they weren’t the best. Facebook was.

We bought ads on Facebook that literally reached millions of computer screens in the Knoxville area alone. And it cost us very little. We have entire families and groups of friends now attending OneLife regularly because they saw an ad that took them to our church website and led them to check it out in person.

Since then, the simple, grassroots movement Facebook can stimulate has literally resulted in people coming to Christ. Events make it easy for people to invite their friends and family. Our Fan Page (or whatever they call it now) keeps hundreds of people up-to-speed with what’s going on from week to week. Videos of sermons and songs have literally gone viral at times reaching people we’ve never met. But more importantly, people simply posting what God is doing in their lives as a result of OneLife’s ministry has led many to give church one last shot.

There’s no doubt Facebook has impacted OneLife in many good ways. But unfortunately it can also be bad and even ugly. I’ll touch on that more this week.

For now, how has, did, or does Facebook impact you and your involvement at OneLife or your local church? Please leave comments below! I’d love to hear your experiences.